It’s Burda (a David K. joint)

This time of year always stresses me out, if it not grades and school, its buying Christmas presents and planning my holiday vacation. I was hoping that this year was not going to be like the last 4 years, but it is turning out to be. 

The past 2 years I have been in several challenging classes at Georgia State such as Organic Chemistry, Molecular Cell Biology, and Biochemistry all of which I have struggled with.  I have always managed to pass these classes but it has taken a lot of planning and studying on my part.  This year I really do not have any uber stressful, hard classes to worry about; however, I am applying to graduate school and im freaking out that I wont get in.

Dont get me wrong, I am super excited that I am finally graduating college with a BS in biological sciences, but I am wondering what is next.  I am pretty much a planner, I like to know what I am doing today, tomorrow, and next month.  With all of this uncertainty, I feel like my so called life is falling apart.  All of these “what if” questions are running though my head and I would just like to have some answers and a plan for January of 2008.

I mean, should I be focusing my attention on creating a class schedule and looking for a part-time job that is flexible with school or should I be focusing my attention on obtaining a full-time position?  And if so, where should I be looking for a job and who will hire me due to my lack of experience? I really want to get into a  masters program but what if I do not? What am I going to do with myself? I love to stay productive monday thru friday but my current part-time job drives me crazy and I do not think I could work there full-time. Plus what I make is not a livable wage, even if I worked 40 hours a week.

My other stresser is Christmas with my family.  This year at Thanksgiving, my moms side of the family decided to draw names.  I got my cousins husband and I have no idea on what to purchase for him. I know I could simply pick up the phone or text my cousin Shiloh and ask her what he likes, but I want to try to come up with something on my own.  I feel like asking Shiloh what he likes is basically cheating, its almost like buying a Simon mall gift card. Further more, I am going to San Francisco December 27 and I am trying to organize all of those activities.  I need to get in touch with my family in the Bay area to see what time is a good time to visit and I also want to enjoy myself in the city. All of this is really putting me through it and I have been very emotional lately.  In fact, this past saturday I broke down to my mom at Dillards in Atlantic Station (but thank gootness I did get to see Eric Dane from Greys Anatomy, that really cheered me up). Well I guess thats all the ranting and raving im going to do for now…

Popularity: 1% [?]

Posted on November 28th, 2007 by BurdaBurdaBurda
Filed under: Colt | No Comments »

To say the title of this blog describes my love life is the understatement of the century! Mama hasn’t been in a serious relationship in about three years and has never had a relationship longer than a year and a half. I would like to think I’m a good catch, but I just end up feeling like the fish that gets thrown back or the one that jumps up out of the boat!

I know I’m not the only one who has had their heart broken. I’ve had mine broken, stomped on, torn up, chewed up and spit out in any number of cruel ways including but not limited to:

Having my boyfriend leave me for my best friend. My first boyfriend and my first gay best friend just after comng out of the closet, I might add. What a great way to get broken in!

Getting into a spat on a trip/booking to Orlando, being dropped off at the club to perform, and arriving back at the hotel to find all of my drag, clothes, music, luggage, toiletries, and the bed sheets gone with a note saying “Talk to me when you get back to Columbia.” Incidentally, I never got any of my stuff back but I did get a nice $3000 check for the civil suit I won. Unfortunately, I couldn’t sue to get my love back.

Falling in love with your best friend, him telling you the same, and then him just disappearing off the face of the Earth for a few months never to be heard from. When he does emerge, he basically tells you that he didn;t know what he was thinking and that what happened between us will never happen again.

Dating someone for a few months then having the relationship suddenly end because someone he likes better is newly single and wants to go out with him. Typical man always looking for something better.

Dating gay men only to have them break up with me because their friends can’t handle them dating a drag queen/black/whatever. Didn’t know I was dating you and your friends.

Dating a bi/straight/questioning man who decides he wants to go back to his “straight” life or better yet dating a man who wants to hide me in the closet. I came out of the closet once and have no intentions of ever going back in. I hang fabulous gowns in my closet. Besides, I want to be with someone who will run up all the stairs of the Empire State and scream “That’s MY bitch!” when he gets to the top…before he drops to the ground and passes out from exhaustion, LOL!

Dating a man who is hypercritical (not to be confused with HYPOcritical) of everything and gets insanely upset over totally trivial or irrelevant things like crushing the plastic 2-liter bottles before you throw them in the garbage. There are children starving in Africa and we’re about to start World War III over this bullshit?!!!

Let’s just say it hasn’t been a walk in the park, ummkay. Lady Luck has plucked all the roses off the stem and left me to lay in a bed of thorns. Ouch, bitch!

So why haven’t I given up on trying to find love. Because being truly, madly, deeply in love is a feeling or really a bunch of feelings that are indescribable. Beautiful and scary. Like being on a rollercoaster ride. Enjoying the thrill, the wind in your face, the butterflies in your stomach, the view at the top of the world, the rush of blood to your head hanging upside down, even though one loose bolt, one wrong turn, one kink in the chain can hurl you to your death!

Everyone wants to be loved. Some people don’t know how to love, some don’t know how to be loved, and some never ever get the chance to do either. It seems so unfair sometimes when you see someone you despise hugged up with someone because it makes you feel like “They gotta man and I can’t find one, what the hell am I doing wrong?!!!”

Love is like air, water, or food. We all need it in order to live. When you don’t get it or get enough of it, it feels like gasping for air, hungering for something to eat, or thristing for something to drink. And it can make you do some stupid or crazy things. Like having a reality show to help you find it.

With all the success of these dating shows, I think I may need to have me one. Imagine that fuckin’ show! I wouldn’t even know what to call that shit, LOL. Walk the Plank with Martina Diamante? Misery Loves Company? How bout’ something more positive like The Best of Both Worlds or Gimme’ Some of Dat?

Any suggestions?

A Shot at Love would have been excellent but Tila Tequila took that already. I had no idea who this bitch was until this show. I like her though, she’s so CUTE! Gotta love a greedy bitch. Can’t be mad at a gal that likes her bread buttered on both sides!

And I Love South Carolina just doesn’t have the same chutzpah as I Love New York. Now, I hated that bitch on Flavor of Love. But I loves (not love), loves New York on her own show. I have to give it to her, she is smart, real, and funny. I admire those qualities in her because I admire those qulaities in myself. For better or worse, I am ME.

Speaking of for better or worse, those are words I long to say someday. And whoever is crazy enough to end up marrying me will have to mean that cuz’ I am a handful. As much as I hate to admit it, I am high maintenance.

So what if I am?

High maintenance equals high performance. I need a man that can handle the ride, shut up, and drive–right, Rhianna? Hey that could be it–Shut Up and Drive–Sponsored by Nascar! Stay tuned for my new reality show…Yea, right. But if they did give me one, y’all know you would stay glued to the television, LOL!

Popularity: 1% [?]

Posted on November 28th, 2007 by BurdaBurdaBurda
Filed under: The Empress Strikes Back | No Comments »